the forbidden memory.......

e

dear my dearest bloggy....
gamba budak cute di atas ini tiade kene ngene same ade yg hidop ataupun yg matik !!! aku jumpe dlm blog org lain,so aku grab ajela..budak nih cute !!!!
today i didn't go to school...because at 1 o'clock in the afternoon pak din is going to pick me up to the driving centre for my JPJ test....uhuhuhu...so bored....i've read biology's book and do some revision....i'm so cold...even i didn't switched on the fan....huhu lately this two weeks seems so cold......then i turned on the television ..nothing specials...but then when i turned on the channel 1....the mc interviwed a girl from the Sri Puteri school's...the famous school that i really2 dreamt to go....but it's all just a memory.....now i left here...studying in the "kampung" school...i never get the chance to go for a better studies....study at rural school and SBP high class are different....the teacher's are more educated, the surrounding are different, the competition are different, the have a wide-wide-wide-wide oppurtunity just because they came from SBP....aku benci....aku benci....aku benci.....naper aku xdpt masuk sbp time form 1 dulu....???? it's all because of my father...!!!! he passed away and there's nobody to live with mom....brothers and sister all were so busy with their studies....and they said....
"ala....belajar kat mane2 pon same...." -the typical answer from stupid people !!! why they never want to realize that the surroundings will affect my studies....specially friends....they kept saying that i've chose wrong friends...ahhh selame nih korang bukan pernah pedulikan aku pown...girlfriend and boyfriend korang saje yg penting...naseb baik korang dah kawen....lahai when there's any problem happened you guys love to point your fingers at me...in fact you guys never wants realize...the pressure that i have to face ...deep down in my heart...i want to enter the brass band...win grand prize in marching band...win first prize for choir...get the first place in debate...but what did i get??? it's all just rubbish !!! wasting my time and all my sacrification never paid.......kalaulah aku skewl kat skolah2 yg "HEBAT"...sure my hardwork will paid...

perhaps living in the rural school,i'm not so motivated...and one more thing that i wanted to said here is...teachers only give supprt to those type A's student....they are the apple of teacher's eye...then what about the other student??? tunggul kayu ??? huh !!! pegi mampos la....skola kat tengku menteri tuh isk..isk..isk..isk..menyedihkan....i never get the oppurtunity to win any competition...even i've strugle to my last breath...people never look at me...
:(

ehhh ape yg aku melalut nih...???? aha..actually this morning i really2 admired the girl who are at the same age with me...she entered the brass band...just imagine about it...people will look at you and never look down at you just like what is happening to me right now...i'm feeling that i'm at the deepest sea....aku benciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!