let's face the music.

dear bloggy,
OMG!i've just finished chatting with my-beloved besties zura and lien in the cellphone.i just can't believe it.you guys have just been kiddin me.isn't it? oh no.i guess i'm wrong.i've almost forgotten about my result.it will be announce tomorrow! march 12 2008.how could this be ? today, from morning till this moment i kept receiving sms from friends, cousins, and my family saying about tomorrow as if like its gonna be doom's day??? huh.kiddin' it's kinda giving me a lots of PRESSURE!!! do you guys know that ??? i ask you again, do guys know that you guys are giving me PRESSURE!!! nnt karang xpasal2 aku jadik macam gimmick dlm citer "DEAD MAN ON CAMPUS" tuh.please don't put too high expectations on me.

eh.xbleyh. aku sayang ngan nyawa aku.life's too short to waste.i should enjoy my life to the fullest!!! yes!!! whatever it takes, whatever is gonna happened, whatever results i'm gonna get, it will never be the END of my life.failure is just the beginning !!! yeah !!! sesi motivasi diri sendiri. hek.hek.hek. maybe right now, i can think positively, but can my motivation keeps on the track till i get my result ??? uhhh...sempat lagi ka aku nak buat solat hajat ?


seriously, i'm really-really afraid to let my family down with my results.specially mak.THE IRON LADY in my life.she had sacrifice many things for me since bapak has passed away about last 10 years.at the age of 17, i get my own car.just to make my life easier, she just don't want to see her daughter berjemuran di tengah2 panas, menantikan bus dan berkejar-kejaran untuk pergi dari satu tuition ke another tuition(cause mom can't drive and my siblings stay far away from taiping).the one who cook the best dishes for her daughter just to make sure that her daughter get the best nutrition for her brain development and of course the one whom never forget her children in her prayer.kasih sayang seorang ibu kepada anaknya memang tak dapat ditandingi walaupun dibayar dengan wang stinggi gunung kan? for GOD sake,what should i do ??? okay, dun cry dear, i'm just too fragile.but not to everybody.but when it comes to family matters, i tend to be so emotional.ah.aku benci these feelings.i've grown up!!!

how is it gonna be ??? can i accept if i get lower results from those girls yang slalu bagi distraction dlm class aku tuh ??? people will keep on asking me about my result.if i passed with flying colors, it'll be okay, but how is it gonna be if i failed ??? can i survive ??? oh man, life wasn't easy as what we said. we may act cool as if like there's nothing happened, but deep down inside our heart, who really knows ? ouh.i'm getting pessimistic again. okay, let's motivate myself again and again.

i still remember what shikien has told me on those terrifying days...

" hun, i'm very sure that you will success in this life with or without good grades because you got the charisma n determination in whatever you do.do you know that you're a single-minded person? i know you can make it.trust me.you never gonna failed "

fuh, touching sungguh ayat2 ikien tuh.even those dialogue tuh happened last year time aku anta ikien dlm kereta lepas paper add math but it keeps on playing and playing in my mind whenever i get stressed or down.siyes.mmg lepas paper add math arituh, motivation aku down gilerrr!

okay, who else always give me motivation huh? hah.kak lina-my sister in law.though she is my sister-in-law, but she always be like a mother to me!!! she's the one who motivates me to take medic and further my studies in overseas.pergh.aku cakap law dier nih jadik motivator, fadilah kamsah pun bleyh kalah.hehehe.abang pejan aku pun same.seriously aku cakap, diorang husband and wife nih, mmg penuh dengan motivation. satu tag team yang cukup best kalo nak masuk amazing race.hehehe.mmg abang pejan and kak lina aku la yang aku nampak dlm family aku, yang concern about study and my future. other than that, mak, kak sue,abang aish and lastly big bro aku la yang bebel2 kat aku pasal SPM.

ohhhh.not to be forgotten,HAKIM.ya.beliaw muncul di saat-saat akhir.in May if i'm not mistaken.yes.he always give me motivation to study day by day.until our last paper-BIOLOGY(my fav) he just disappeared without a trace. then, when we met at malls, he just act like he don't know me.xkanla aku yang nak pegi approach die dulu kan ??? diela, x gentleman langsung.ahh monyet la kau!!! i wonder,what he's gonna get for his SPM? for sure he will succeed with flying colors.he is much-much-much more smarter than me.
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well, i've just finished filling in the application upu online.hehehe.esok dah nak kuaq result, rinih baru nak sebok2 checking.it was so confusing + i just don't know what i like.i'm undecided. that was really-really terrible for me because i don't really know what is my ambition really is.yang ade tadik tuh banyak engineering ja.ceyt.that is not my cup of tea.bidang perubatan plak ade one-two. itu pun dia tulih TAMHIDI PERUBATAN, TAMHIDI PERGIGIAN.apo ko bondonya tuh ?ish...kat UDM plak tuh.university baru.mmg la jiwa aku more to journalism + photography (w'pun eden xdo dslr...hehehe) + music (i can play keyboard and piano well ok.)tp aku still xsure lagi.if i take that as a profession, can i succeed ??? jadik kayo-rayo mcm BILL GATES ??? di kenali ramai macam PARIS HILTON ?

i love to talk and have some arguments.should i take law??? (that's why i took part in debate and public speaking kat skola dulu.hehehe)or i need to take bidang pengacaraan ??? or kewartawanan ??? or pensyarah ??? aku suka buat something yang adventurous.apa ha ??? penin aku. i think i should ask for my bro and my sis opinion. but i have to make sure that i'm gonna choose without bias or get fluent by their advices.chill lah dear !!! don't worry too much !!! let's face the music!!!
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i've tried my best to be the best.alhamdullilah.setelah usaha, doa dan tawakkal itu lebih baik bukan ?